If you follow me on social media, you would know that I am pretty confident in my body. I’ve posted many videos in my bikini dancing around, embracing my body and enjoying life! CLICK HERE IF YOU HAVEN’T
But it doesn’t mean I love every part of my body! There are days, especially when dressing up nice, I get annoyed at my saggier belly and boobs since having children. I’m not always 100% feeling myself in certain outfits. My “crows feet” around my eyes are getting deeper and deeper. But there have been a few things I put in place over the years so these thoughts don’t get me down and ruin my day. I want to share these tips with you to help as many as you can not waste time on worrying about how you look and missing out on the life around you.
TIP 1: PRACTICE BODY ACCEPTANCE > BODY POSITIVITY
If you are someone who is still on the journey of “loving yourself” you would know how hard it can be to practice body love and body positivity. No matter how many positive affirmations you say to yourself, it just doesn’t feel genuine and you don’t feel any extra confidence.
Firstly, self love and body acceptance can be very uncomfortable at first! You might feel like a phony and not 100% believe in what you are saying but the more you practice, the more you accept and the less room for negativity, the easier it gets. - I just want to say well done on trying to embrace your body 👏
Secondly, this is where practicing body acceptance - or also body neutrality - over body positivity will help you even more on your journey. Taryn Brumfitt of @bodyimagemovement and the documentary Embrace (which if you haven’t seen this documentary I HIGHLY HIGHLY RECOMMEND YOU WATCH IT), had a great post this week about body positivity vs body neutrality. CLICK HERE TO SEE THE POST
In her post, she mentions how even though body positivity has been a powerful movement since the 1960s challenging societal beauty standards, it can feel “out of reach” for some, especially when society still pressures us to look and feel a certain way. Body neutrality is more about becoming neutral to your body, not rejecting your body and not spending as much time thinking about it. Then accepting that you are much more than your physical appearance. So if you struggle with body positivity, try focus on self compassion and “de-prioritizing” your appearance over your other values.
On the days, I am not loving how my body looks, I will always practice body neutrality. I try not to let how I look ruin the event I am about to attend or the fun I will have. If I am going for a swim, I focus less on how I look in a bikini and more about how much fun I will have splashing around in the water with my children. When I think about my crow’s feet, I rename them “smile lines” and know that they are there from the 1 million+ smiles I’ve accumulated over my lifetime.
TO HELP WITH BECOMING MORE BODY NEUTRAL:
1.Next time a negative thought about your body enters your mind, how can you change it to be more neutral and / or accepting?
2.Write a list of all things your body CAN do and what you appreciate about it
Example: “I don’t love how my belly looks today but I accept that it has birthed 2 babies, it helps to digest food to give my body nutrients and I am not going to let how it looks ruin my fun girl’s night out because it doesn’t impact my ability to dance”
3.Delete any account on your social media that makes you think negative thoughts about your body.
DRESS UP IN A WAY THAT MAKES YOU FEEL MORE CONFIDENT
After having children, I was struggling a lot with my new body. I was struggling to fit into my old clothes, my breasts just didn’t sit right in my usual outfits and I was struggling to feel “sexy” when going out. It took me until my breastfeeding journey stopped at the end of last year, to have the motivation to find my style again and to dress in a way that makes me feel comfortable AND confident.
Through trial and error, I have now found the style of clothes that accentuates and suits my new figure. It wasn’t what I previously wore and I had to go up a size but I have accepted that I have a different body now and I don’t have to change ME to suit my old style, I just needed to find a new style that suits ME.
Another thing that helps me to feel confident is high waisted bikini bottoms and undies. So even though I am happy to flaunt around and show off my belly, I also feel more confident giving my body a little bit more shape and THAT IS OK! You don’t have to be all or nothing. You can be confident in your body but also find things that help you feel more confident and sexier, even if it means hiding some things. Such as make up and spanks < Lizzo - one of the most body confident singer’s has a whole business selling and designing shapewear!
I recently embraced this even more after having my first ever Intimo fitting by the lovely Natalie @fittedbynatalieb. I have never had a proper fitted bra and ever since children, I have just lived in the wrong size nursing crops. It wasn’t until I had a 1:1 personalised bra fitting with Nat that I realised how much my new found breasts were effecting my confidence and outfit choices. Since being fitted and investing in a couple of bras, I cannot believe how much confidence I have gained through my undergarments! I was able to wear a spaghetti strap top this weekend, which I used to live in pre-children but with my new, saggier breasts I always hated how they looked on me - but now I am so happy I can wear them again and feel good in them!
HOW YOU CAN USE YOUR WARDROBE TO HELP YOU FEEL MORE CONFIDENT:
1.Donate any clothes that don’t fit you anymore - Even if you have been holding onto it for years - trying to shrink back into it. You are not the same person as you were when you could fit into it and its ok! Our body’s change overtime so can our wardrobe.
2.Find your style again - start a Pinterest board of all the clothes you’d like to wear, hit the shops and try on different styles to see what you feel most confident and comfortable in. TOP TIP: Try your outfit on facing AWAY from the mirror and if you like it and it feels comfortable, then it is right for you. Don’t worry too much about how it looks. Also - Get a few staple items that you absolutely love to take the stress out of choosing outfits everyday.
3.Wear properly-fitted-to-you clothes - doesn’t matter if you have to change size (sizing in shops are BS, every shop is different anyway)! If your foot grew and you needed new shoes, you’d get the next size up so why do we not do that for our clothing? If you have never had your bra fitted properly, this is your sign to do it.
WRAP UP:
The moral of this blog is to let you know that you can still be confident in your body and give it love, without having to love every part of you. You can still wear make up and spanks AND be body confident. The main thing to focus on is accepting that your body is a vehicle, your worth is not determined by how you look. Your health is not determined by how you look. Try not to let how you look control your mood and self worth. You are worthy of love and happiness, no matter your appearance ❤️
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I hope this helps as many of you as possible to see your true worth and you are feeling a little more confident to rock your favourite outfit and to go into the world and care a little bit less about what others think of you or how you look x
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